yet another

Spirit and Spirit’s mate Soul
Soul has a pet called Control.
Control has a nasty demeanor
For years Spirit has let him be Lord of the manor.
Spirit tells Soul it is time to give me his leash
Soul hesitates, but Spirit demands to find peace.
Control senses a change in the game and tries to fight.
Gnashing his ugly teeth, eyes glare in the morning light.
Spirit looks at Soul –Control your beast.
He needs to be gone by time the sun rises in the east.
Soul agrees but is lost where do I begin.
Spirit through tear-filled eyes you need to look within.
Soul fears life with out his pet.
But if he stay what will I have left.
Tonight Control is chained outback
hopefully soon he will be all packed.

More .........

Waves of emotions rushing through the brain.
Each thought rolling in like the tide.
Sound of water crashing through the rocks.
Can’t make a complete thought, all the ifs.
Indecision and excitement is the current.
Each splash of water cools one thought,
the sun warms up the next one.


The thoughts can’t turn off, one after another
they charge through. How to shut it off.
Thoughts dam up ready to flood and emotions flow.
How to slow them, stop the rapids of the mind.

Come with me

I wait for darkness to take over,
to make the pain subside.
The salt in my tears stings –reminds
me of how unloving the world can be.
How I wish I could float up with the stars,
ride a moon beam.-
I want to feel free again, I want to loose the
Despair-of a cruel world
My spirit feels heavy today-my heart is bleeding
for all the unhappiness –I wish I could spread my
wings and take you all for a ride—I would call out
COME WITH ME- let me lift you from the pain.
I will comfort you. Let’s ride the moon beam as one free
Spirit to escape the bondage of the pain from life’s
experiences.
Finally sleep passes, my eyes are puffy, and my voice is thick
I still feel the tears welling up—in a room full of people
but still alone.
Quietly the tears slip down my cheek while my heart weeps.

2 yrs ago I wrote this.... it was my fight the evils of the world era

You seek safety here.
Inside I will shelter you.
Only for awhile.
I see the pain in your eyes.
I hear the question why me.

You are only five.
A child with too many worries.
You flinch in your fear.
My heart aches, my anger burns.
What type of mind abuses kids?

You ask to stay here.
My tears swell when I say no.
You must live at home.
The hurt burns in your wet eyes.
I attempt to comfort you.

I can’t tell you this.
But I am on your side my child.
I have reported this.
They say nothing can be proven.
I am watching over you.

I have no answers.
Don’t know why this is your world.
You keep me grounded my friend.
I know that all is not well.
But you are safe with me now.

Standing out in a crowd..

I was told the other night I don't really stand out in a crowd.. to some I make no impact on...You know at first I was hurt .. no one wants to feel like a bowl of oatmeal... then I realized maybe to that one person I don't stand out .. but in my private world I make a huge impact.. My kids know when I am not myself or if I am gone .. My husband hears the emptiness of the house when I am not around..
It is sad how we can let one persons quick judgement let us feel unimportant ... when if you take a step back someone will always miss you ........

in my mind

I have tons of things I want to say.. and need to say .. but I seem to have it trapped up inthere.I used to write all the time .. poems and short stories...my muse has left me ..I have many things I could write about .. my kids- my marriage- my friends and my heart breaks.. but nothing wants to come out....

Today

Things seem pretty quiet today the usual therapies ,phone calls and such.Zach had an allergy appointement yesterday - while there is no allergies we maybe looking at sinus surgery .. We will know more later this month on that .. He and I spent the rest of the day together didn't really do much but ran a few errands.It hit me just how grown up he is becoming .. not long ago he was just this little bundle who needed me for everything.He is a great kid we are so lucky God picked us to be his parents.
Liza had a good day too with her home health nurse .. she is always a bundle of giggles when she comes.Alot of people either see that and can't comprehend her illness or some only see the illness .. It saddens me to think some will miss out on this beautiful child .. kids don't stay little long-- and someday she will be all grown up and this time will be memory..
If you saw our 2 together . they look alike and are inseperatable ... as if they were blood siblings ( they do have off moments too) I remember back in the days of infertility and not understandng Gods plan ...now I have insight .. it just wasn't our time ..........